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If You Give a Student a Zoom Link

(with apologies to Laura Numeroff)

By Olivia Dowler, Zack Enguita, Raafay Uqaily
With assistance from Colleen Good, Dr. Gooding, and Assistant Dean Clement


If you give a student a Zoom link, they're going to ask why they should go.
And if they ask why they should go, you're going to have to give them a reason.
And if you have to give them a reason, they won't like the reasoning and will pretend they're having technical difficulties.

And if they pretend they're having technical difficulties, you should ask them to re-boot their internet.
And if you ask them to re-boot their internet, it will take an extremely long time.
And if re-booting their internet will take an extremely long time, they're going to need a snack.

And if they need a snack, they're going to need to go to the kitchen.
And if they need to go to the kitchen, they will run into some family members along the way.
And if they run into some family members along the way, they will get in trouble for skipping class.

And if they get in trouble for skipping class, they will explain that they are quickly grabbing some cereal and a cup of coffee.
And if they end up skipping class, they will then plan on going to testWELL Tutoring.
And if they go to testWELL Tutoring they will get help some help from our fantastic staff of tutors.


And if they get help from those fantastic tutors, then the tutors will also remind them that going to class is a good idea.
And if the tutors remind them that going to class is a good idea, then they'll have to ask their friends what they missed.
And if they ask their friend what they missed, they will tell them to check their planner.


And if they tell them to check their planner, they will see it is the last week of classes.
And if they see that it is the last week of classes, they will panic and start attending Zoom review sessions for finals.


And if they start attending Zoom review sessions for finals that would mean the semester is about to finally end.
And if the semester is about to end, they'll want to talk with you about their grades.


And if they want to talk about their grades, they'll need to use Zoom.
And if they need to use Zoom, then you're going to have to give them a Zoom link.

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